This year I took my daughter Zoe with me, and we roomed together. To say my daughter is adorable and amazing and fun to be around is a major understatement. But I’m such a mom!
First off, I should probably qualify my thoughts by starting with the reality! I don’t enjoy much about Las Vegas. I know, I know. It’s a fun place and everyone loves it. But when you don’t gamble and you don’t drink Vegas is just one big smoke-filled titty bar. Or… Mantitty bar. Because the Rio is where they host the Chippendale folks. A lot of people got mileage out of that. Did I mention I was there with my daughter? If strangers see me perving on a muscle-clad dancer half my age that’s one thing. If my daughter sees that??? Quite another.
So, um. I wasn’t really up for the cover model reindeer games. Although the cover models were handsome and personable as always, I’m now at an age where I solicit their advice on where to shop for young men’s clothing and if they’re too thin, I offer soup. And not in a “Stick your finger through the bars, lets see if you’re plump enough for me to eat, Hansel” way, either.
I got to see a whole bunch of people I love. I wish I could name you all. After a week in Vegas I’m lucky I remember I saw you.
And then there’s The Food. WTF is wrong with you people! I ordered eggs Benedict and I got something that had fried mashed potatoes, a chicken cutlet, deep fried vermicelli noodles, and a cheese blanket.
A CHEESE BLANKET?
Sounds like something astronauts had to use to keep warm in 1969.
Tasted like it too.
Every time I ordered food it was like I’d lost a bet to the house. Burgers? IMPOSSIBLY HUGE. Nachos? Came in a trash can. Room service? Non-existent. Coffee makers? Also non-existent. Thank God for Starbucks protein packs. And existential guilt, which caused my daughter to be very accommodating when I asked her to get me coffee in the morning. Here we are with Cherry Adair, because we were all waiting in a line together to drop our books off for the book fair:
<—–That’s Rachel Haimowitz, Chris Muldoon, (locals only, baby!) and Alex Whitehall. This is just before playing my first game of Cards Against Humanity. How I managed to avoid this game for as long as my kids have played, I have no idea.
We won, because YEAH. Our table was definitely all that!!!
Have I mentioned that Riptide Publishing never fails to impress me with their hard work, their attention to detail, and their kindness to their authors? Riptide Rocks. Just Sayin’!
I also got to see my editors from Berkley! Authors wore pink feather boas and since I mostly wear black from head to toe I walked around spitting pink feathers and shedding them off my clothes for the rest of the day! Say hello to Kristine (top) and Cindy (next). They are two of the wisest, kindest, people I know. Thank you for helping bring my cowboys to life! (And readers: look for My Cowboy Freedom in September)
There was a book signing on Saturday morning and the Penguin party right after. I finished there at about 5:30 and I was just… KNACKERED. AND HERE IS WHERE I APOLOGIZE!!!
Unfortunately, exhaustion and hunger claimed me at that point. Five LONG days in, after three panels, after parties and working crowds and enjoying the company of everyone I had the chance to meet, it all became too much, and I missed the Fan-Tastic Day Party that Dreamspinner puts on every year. I deeply regret any disappointment I may have caused.
The following day, I heard someone who’d traveled from France was looking for me. I am truly, deeply sorry if I missed anyone who wanted to see me there. I heard someone brought book covers for me to sign, and apparently, I missed crossing paths with them at all the events.
To the person who looked for me: I had nothing but a description to go on, but I looked for you the following day, Sunday, and also Monday, until it became necessary for me to check out. I never found you!!! If you like, please contact me through email, zamaxfield @ zamaxfield (dot) com. We can make arrangements somehow to get those signed at my expense.
I am so terribly sorry. More on that if you read this! If anyone knows the person I missed, please let them know! (OR me, so I can contact them) Thanks!