Not one of the cold kids!

July 8, 2017 by Z.A. Maxfield

She looks like Elsa From Frozen!

That should have been my first clue!!!

You know those commercials about “the most interesting man in the world?” That dude has nothing on author Debra Holland, one of the amazing writers from #OCCRWA. She’s smart and funny and lovely and also a total badass, and in this picture she’s about to get into a cryo tank. Yes. To be Cryo’d.

Without getting into the reasons either one of us might get into one of those babies, specifically, there are a lot of reasons that people do.

And I’m an old hippie soul, gosh darnit. I was doing Transcendental Meditation at the age of 12. I have been a hundred different religions and also no religion at all. Before I was in college, I had experienced past life regression, had my astrological chart read by experts, memorized all the Christian Science tenets of faith, had energy work done and faith healing, and been rejected by prospective inlaws as being both too Jewish and too Christian–when not even theoretically, but actually I was neither.

So when Debra said, “Wanna try getting in a cryo tank?” I said, “I’m in.”

Because when life asks you if you are a goddess you say:

YES!

And I admit I’m easily led but I’m super, super smart about who I let lead me. I probably would have drawn the line somewhere. Electroconvulsive therapy, maybe. Heroin, definitely. I would have said no to heroin, had she offered it even if she’d said, this will make you feel good. So… You know. I can be led only up to a point. And it seemed like a good idea.

But Elsa up there has an obvious advantage, what with her being the goddess of ICE.

Hello yeah. I come from generations of people who lived in HAWAII.

Here’s a comparison:

You see what she’s doing? She’s DANCING. To a cute hit song. I shit you not. She is dancing to a song inside a machine that is freezing her alive. And it really looks like fun, doesn’t it? It looks like she is having a good time. Like she’s enjoying her own personal rave in there. Whooo. Spooky. Gotta get my groove on now. It’s cold.

But I ask you! How is a girl who was given up for adoption by four generations of Hawaiians and then adopted by five generations of Angelenos gonna know from cold?

She is not going to have a clue going in, that’s what. She is not going to have a single clue that she is about to get the abso-fucking-lutely worst headache of an entire lifetime of ice cream headaches and she’s going to think it’s never, ever, ever going away.

Behold, Le MOI!

I don’t think I’ve needed that particular expression since I gave birth to my second child. I swear, I really tried. I danced. I smiled and I acted as if. I placed myself in the hands of my higher power, and then I asked if I could please get out. Right now. Please. NO. I can’t seem to put on my robe, sir. I’m afraid I’ll have to run through your studio in my granny panties and bra, sir, what with my inability to imagine life after this moment…

Because yeah. No. Cold is cold. There’s a reason people wear clothing when the weather dips. And therapeutically speaking, we should probably have walked before running. Because I lasted slightly over one minute. And I really seriously think punching out was the right thing to do.

Maybe I’m just a hothouse flower. And maybe I’ll work up to it. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to be one of those polar bear dudes, who leap into the frozen lakes and now I know. I will know more tomorrow.

Special thanks to Debra! They need to start making beer commercials about you!! Wow!

RT 2016 – Coming up for air

April 24, 2016 by Z.A. Maxfield

It’s been a week since we said good-bye, RT, and I miss you more than I can say! The Rio? Not so much…

This year I took my daughter Zoe with me, and we roomed together. To say my daughter is adorable and amazing and fun to be around is a major understatement. But I’m such a mom!

First off, I should probably qualify my thoughts by starting with the reality! I don’t enjoy much about Las Vegas. I know, I know. It’s a fun place and everyone loves it. But when you don’t gamble and you don’t drink Vegas is just one big smoke-filled titty bar. Or… Mantitty bar. Because the Rio is where they host the Chippendale folks. A lot of people got mileage out of that. Did I mention I was there with my daughter? If strangers see me perving on a muscle-clad dancer half my age that’s one thing. If my daughter sees that??? Quite another.

So, um. I wasn’t really up for the cover model reindeer games. Although the cover models were handsome and personable as always, I’m now at an age where I solicit their advice on where to shop for young men’s clothing and if they’re too thin, I offer soup. And not in a “Stick your finger through the bars, lets see if you’re plump enough for me to eat, Hansel” way, either.

I got to see a whole bunch of people I love. I wish I could name you all. After a week in Vegas I’m lucky I remember I saw you.

And then there’s The Food. WTF is wrong with you people! I ordered eggs Benedict and I got something that had fried mashed potatoes, a chicken cutlet, deep fried vermicelli noodles, and a cheese blanket.

A CHEESE BLANKET?

Sounds like something astronauts had to use to keep warm in 1969.

Tasted like it too.

Every time I ordered food it was like I’d lost a bet to the house. Burgers? IMPOSSIBLY HUGE. Nachos? Came in a trash can. Room service? Non-existent. Coffee makers? Also non-existent. Thank God for Starbucks protein packs. And existential guilt, which caused my daughter to be very accommodating when I asked her to get me coffee in the morning. Here we are with Cherry Adair, because we were all waiting in a line together to drop our books off for the book fair:

That’s how you worm your way into photos with your idols!

Got some pictures of the Riptide peeps! Amelia Vaughn isn’t in this one, but she was there too, being her adorable self. I won’t be happy until I get a Sarah Frantz Lyons hug, but that’s just me.

<—–That’s Rachel Haimowitz, Chris Muldoon, (locals only, baby!) and Alex Whitehall. This is just before playing my first game of Cards Against Humanity. How I managed to avoid this game for as long as my kids have played, I have no idea.

We won, because YEAH. Our table was definitely all that!!!

Have I mentioned that Riptide Publishing never fails to impress me with their hard work, their attention to detail, and their kindness to their authors? Riptide Rocks. Just Sayin’!

I also got to see my editors from Berkley! Authors wore pink feather boas and since I mostly wear black from head to toe I walked around spitting pink feathers and shedding them off my clothes for the rest of the day! Say hello to Kristine (top) and Cindy (next). They are two of the wisest, kindest, people I know. Thank you for helping bring my cowboys to life! (And readers: look for My Cowboy Freedom in September)

There was a book signing on Saturday morning and the Penguin party right after. I finished there at about 5:30 and I was just… KNACKERED. AND HERE IS WHERE I APOLOGIZE!!!

Unfortunately, exhaustion and hunger claimed me at that point. Five LONG days in, after three panels, after parties and working crowds and enjoying the company of everyone I had the chance to meet, it all became too much, and I missed the Fan-Tastic Day Party that Dreamspinner puts on every year. I deeply regret any disappointment I may have caused.

The following day, I heard someone who’d traveled from France was looking for me. I am truly, deeply sorry if I missed anyone who wanted to see me there. I heard someone brought book covers for me to sign, and apparently, I missed crossing paths with them at all the events.

To the person who looked for me: I had nothing but a description to go on, but I looked for you the following day, Sunday, and also Monday, until it became necessary for me to check out. I never found you!!! If you like, please contact me through email, zamaxfield @ zamaxfield (dot) com. We can make arrangements somehow to get those signed at my expense.

I am so terribly sorry. More on that if you read this! If anyone knows the person I missed, please let them know! (OR me, so I can contact them) Thanks!

I’m going to do IT.

December 3, 2015 by Z.A. Maxfield

I am going to do it.

IT.

That thing I didn’t think I’D EVER DO.

That thing I’ve been asking myself about for years, playing the pros and cons out in my head.

I think I’m going to create a “street team.”

These would be people I can count on for possible beta reading, social media buzz, and enthusiasm when my books come out.

My new Street Team members can be bloggers, reviewers, readers or writers. What I’ll ask for are things like retweets, reblogs, and HONEST reviews. This isn’t just for superfans, it’s for average people who want to interact with me. No resume required.

Back in the old days, I had this great Yahoo Group. My members were writers and bloggers and editors and friends. And even though I totally hated Yahoo Groups, that was a really good way for people to find out what I was up to and interact with each other. We were a tribe in real time, talking long into the night sometimes… It was immediate and it was fun. I now put out newsletters, and that’s fun too, but it isn’t the same as interacting with a group in real time.

So I made myself a private Facebook group for News and Updates. I’m calling it, “Hellfire and ZAMnation.” From there I will be sharing swag and news and ARCs and asking for Beta Readers and buzz generators.

If you’re a ZAM FAN, and you want first dibs on the latest, here’s what you’ll get by becoming part of my street team:

My street team members will have:

First crack at ZAM books for review purposes when my publisher allows. (When that’s not possible, I’ll try to send gift copies.)
Swag and bragging rights and the opportunity to remind/tease me that I have NINE books with some variant of the name Edward in them.
exclusive contests and seasonal prizes.

Signing up for my ZAMnation Street Team will be a PIECE OF CAKE. Simply Log send me a request to join. You can find the Super Seekrit Facebook group, HERE.

GayRomLit Retreat 2015 – a debriefing.

October 22, 2015 by Z.A. Maxfield

Wow! This was the view from Belinda’s (McBride) and my room, although this tiny picture doesn’t do it justice. From our balcony, we could see the bay, and the steamboats, and also everyone coming and going from the lobby. Which was kind of handy when we needed to find people.

We were right next door to Wade Kelly and Kayla Cooley, whose room number, 666, made me want to scritchy scratch the walls in an ominous way at night (although I suppressed the urge.)

The weather was glorious. The staff was nice. During the Luau, I dug my toes into the sand and let the HAPPY wash over me and it never left my heart the whole time!

I need to thank all the folks who helped me wish Sarah Lyons well. (Although I lost those signs somewhere…I am such a ditz…) We’re all on #teamsarahlyons !! Be fierce my friend!

Thanks also to all the new friends I made and all the folks I know from years past. It’s the people I enjoy at these events.

I want to thank all the authors who let me lose my shit over them. I will never get over fangirling the authors I don’t get to see often: Rhys Ford, Jordan L. Hawk, Charlie Cochet, and Jordan Castillo Price, to name just a very few. So many great authors!

And I LOVE, love love meeting readers!

I gave away a ton of swag and a boatload of books and some posters.

I danced the night away. Twice.

And then, after the conference was over, I got my tattoo cherry popped. My husband’s name is Marlin, in case you’re wondering what that’s all about. It’s a sly homage to someone I’ve been with for 33 years this month.

And then I slept for two solid days when I got home. I think I’m going t sleep until this weekend! Bless you all, and I can’t wait, I’m ready for next year already.

*shakes head* (No I’m not. Not yet. But as soon as I get a second wind…)

The Writer’s Police Academy

August 26, 2015 by Z.A. Maxfield

It WAS Awesome!

I got to play with handcuffs and a thermal imaging device. I got to see a K-9 officer (Franz) and his handler in action. I watched a bank robbery and car chase, a couple of rescues, and some really interesting speakers talk about things that ordinarily don’t come up in polite conversation (why a corpse might burst, for example.)

Wisconsin weather could NOT have been more lovely, and I found myself wanting to look for real estate in the Fox Valley. After all, we’re in a decades long drought in California, and when I saw all that green–green trees, green grass, green, green, green, I fell instantly and irrevocably in love. I’ve always loved Wisconsin because that’s the great state that produced Mr. ZAM, so I of course, I had to get my cheese curds and my Packer Backer T-shirts and my Bucky Badger sweatshirt.

Fox Valley Technical College has to be the most exciting place for the kids who go there. They have a whole fake village, complete with motels, bars, banks, and an actual airplane in which to experience these dramatic rescue and criminal apprehension scenarios. So much thought was put into this little school, it’s truly, truly a gem. I’d love it if my kid, the one who wants to be a firefighter, could go there.

The only problem I had was an iffy ankle (that I had to walk on constantly) and the fear that I wouldn’t know anyone when I got there! But on the very first day, I found Piper Vaughn, and on the second, I found Jamie Lynn Miller and J.D. Ruskin! Could I have been more lucky? I got to see my M/M cohorts there!

At any rate, I had a wonderful, wonderful time. A huge thank you to everyone who worked so hard to make that happen, especially Lee Lofland, Joe Lefevre and those amazing Sisters In Crime! I hope someday, once I’ve taken all this to heart, I’ll write a great scene with accurate technical details and make all of you proud.

Or maybe I can simply keep some of you from tearing your hair out!

I’m back at home now, but plot bunnies seem to be boiling out of the woodwork!

Ch-ch-changes…

May 2, 2015 by Z.A. Maxfield

<——I probably haven’t given this picture a lot of thought lately. This was in May, 2013, at RT in Kansas City, MO. I’m here with Francesca Bensi, Damon Suede, Marie Sexton and Leigh Ann Davies Logan… I had such a blast with these guys. They were truly, a remarkable, enjoyable group.

Someone liked this picture on Facebook this morning so I had a chance to look at it again.

This next picture is me in November of 2014, and this is pretty much is what I look like now…

(In fact, it’s pretty much how I look every day because I’ve adopted this very comfy look as my unofficial uniform. So long baggy sweats and athleisure wear!)

I didn’t have a specific Come-To-Jesus moment or anything, or if I did, it had more to do with health, with fitness. With being able to outrun the years. With the dreaded syndrome-X and marginal results on blood tests and the lack of ability to waddle around these big conference events without an anti-inflammatory cocktail at the end of the day.

And I’m not saying I don’t have a long way to go still, as I’m not where my doctor would like me to be, or where I’d like to be, running a 10K. (Did I say ten? My current goal is five. FIVE.)

Criminy!

This running shit is addictive! Slow and steady, wins the race.

I’m at fifteen months of healthy goals and holding.

I’m in better shape than I have been in years, thanks to Weight Watchers, a Snail’s Pace Running Academy, and my family. Thanks to Beverly Jensen and Belinda McBride, my partners (in crime and health). My first scheduled 5K (running, not walking, which I do nearly every day) is the Avengers 5K at Disneyland in November. If my knee holds out and I can jog it, I’ll see you at the finish line faster. If it doesn’t, I’ll walk it easily anyway.

In case anyone wants to know, this shit is totally doable, even if you’re a great big, sloth-writer, like me…